dxxfknxxe

famousde comedy sketh

2007-01-24T02:18:24Z

dxxfknxxe @ 2006-11-14T01:59:00

2006-11-14T08:59:40Z

slide show

Come take a look

2006-06-04T14:06:24Z

Life and Lonely

2006-05-30T05:03:44Z

You haven't been a bachelor ......until ......

...until you drink a bottle of J. LOHR right from the bottle while burning a steak and studying the directions on the back of the minute rice box

...until you get kicked out of a bar on your birthday - not because you are raising hell, but because you look so lonely, depressed and pathetic that the management decides that, being there writing bad poetry, is not particularly inspirational scenery for the establishment's mass of happy, good poetry writing, paying customers.

...until you've had a car wreck with a motorcycle cop, sending him bouncing over the hood of your car to a resting place in the middle of Pacific Coast Highway; And, he stays there pretty still until the paramedics take him away while 100 police officers surround you - showing a degree of curiosity about the matter

...until that police officer that flew over your car that one time, sues you. But you win - not only the law suite, but also the court appointment you attend to fight paying the ticket that the curious other officers awarded you. A break even event all and all - can't beat that!

...until you've been seduced by two friendly accountants over twice your age, after they fail to score with your married dad who is faithful, yet never-the-less, usually the first target. Things go really well, ......until the accountants and you get ½ naked. Then, unfortunately, the friendly accountants decide they don't want to share. You pass out sometime shortly after the club med security team arrives to stop the fight and, evidently, offer separate accommodations for one of the accountants. You aren't exactly sure how things end up that night; however, by the time you wake up - asleep and still drunk, and, not a few seconds after you run out the accountant's door to the balcony to barf into the courtyard - that your parents and all the other guest's balconies encircle, you quickly become undoubtedly sure that you are butt ass naked accept for the condom that made its way on to you, yet clearly hasn't found it's way off.

...until you purchase a tombstone pizza at Osco drug store and stay awake long enough to put the pizza in the oven and let it slow roast for 8 hours in order to have it cooked thoroughly in time for an extra special breakfast you'll have waiting, and ready for you, when you awake

...until you remodel your college apartment with industrial grade mirrors cemented to the remaining walls that you haven't yet stapled painting canvas to, because apartments are too small and it seems much better to have a 3d perspective beach house with balconies and columns and marbled floors instead. You spend about 10 billion hours doing this instead of going to class, but at least you do a solid enough job that when the time to move out of state comes along, the mirrored, sculpted, murals that make you feel like Leonardo da vinci while painting, don't have to be torn off the walls after all. In preparation for the next resident moving in next week, the apartment rejuvenation task force arrives to begin their work as you begin to pack. It turns out that the artwork will not have to come off the walls, but due to some rule or statute, it is imperative that the beach house be removed from the apartment. Yea, that heavy duty industrial cement and stuff like that really works well. As with most challenges in life, a solution ultimately unfolds - thanks to the task force, whom, collectively, engineers the idea that: if they remove the walls that the beach house is cemented upon, then naturally, the offending modifications will be removed as well. Perfect! You finish packing your car by the time the task force gets all the walls torn down, and it's off to LA. Driving west it's comforting to know that your work of art will probably remain upon the walls it was originally affixed to, for a very long time. Best of all, you managed to get your entire security deposit back. You break even on this one - can't beat that. Fucking insane being a bachelor.

Well, there's a short warm up list for those interested in what it takes to be a bachelor. We can review a list of some more advanced requirement at a later time. Drunken editor, Bad Drunken Bar Poetry

beautiful girl and fun. Until she decides to forget she knew you

2006-03-31T12:17:59Z

yea - she loves you until she is bored of you. Then, at least with me, she'll blow you off and act like you were never a friend in the first place.

Perhaps it only happens to me though.

Anyway, awesome and gorgeous girl until she decides to forget she knows you.

de
p.s. - ago, have some mods to show you.

dxxfknxxe @ 2006-03-08T12:29:00

2006-03-08T19:31:50Z

Fuck you people that block everybody but friends to comment and reply to your journal entries.

That's fucking so bullshit

That is the biggest BITCH move ever!

I'm sure whoever is behaving like such a cunt in this way knows who they are

nuff said

PIcAsk.com - photo sharing with a twist

2006-02-27T11:57:31Z

Very cool and clean. Free photo-sharing with a twist. Select a question and one of your photos to go with the question. Other people then answer your question based on viewing the photo. You can participate anonymously and without registering if you wish. If you do wish to register (free), then you have features that allow you to use picask.com as an online photo manager as well. Care has been taken to optimize PicAsk.com for Firefox browser. List of distinguishing aspects of PicAsk.com

Instant participation without hoopla, forms, hurdles, etc.
Allows anonymous uploading and commenting
Uses a novel photo retrieval strategy to make paging through photos fast without reloads. No, doesn't use AJAX; the server isn't re-queried at all.
Has hot pictures too but they can be filtered along with other criteria
Has a real-time messaging feature
Optimized for FIREFOX. Particular attention has been paid to Firefox optimization for this application.
Has a twist.

Start page snapshot

Single image viewing snapshot - notice the navigator on the right to cycle images. also image currently being viewed can be clicked on to maximize. Tags may also be added.

thank you for taking a look at PicAsk.com. If you like it, woud you be so kind as to give it a mention to help PicAsk get the word out? Thank you very much.

something upon mankind's been brewing.

2006-02-27T06:20:37Z

You can feel it right?
Growing,
Not the end but not safe,
approaching like water pressure,
silent but you hear it,
unknown but you know it's coming,
something upon mankind's been brewing.

here is de once normal whistling going
have you any tention growing?
the weather the conflict
the stretching
like a marathon's last mile,
a windup's last twirl,
how horrific or terrific I don't know - but,
this shall come before our live's will go.

dxxfknxxe @ 2006-02-24T08:22:00

2006-02-24T15:27:37Z

Some come and others grow
like waves they role in and break on you
ride you in
then ride their ass out.